anything but that

the annoying thing about the spring carnival is the endless iteration of racehorses' names on the news. such daft, grating names they give them. they aren't funny or felicitous or in any way well-constructed. they just irk.

whereas if i was filling out a birth certificate for a racehorse (unlikely), i'd choose one of these:

"strange lumps"
"tinkety-tonk"
"sunday tabloid slapper"
"glitterbug"
"stinky cheese"
"not tonight, dear"
"welly top"
"ooh, matron"
"please sir, i feel sick"
"gammon and spinach"
"eurotrash"