pandas are so lazy

they can't even be bothered to bonk each other. (the perpetuation of species now depends on artificial insemination programs.) so i think any particularly bad, lethargic, or negligent lover should be given "bad panda" status. i'm sure everyone's encountered at least one.

as i was saying

people often say they enjoy sex with the right person. but then so many seem to enjoy sex with the wrong people too.

early morning, maudlin street

at the risk of sounding like d. h. lawrence, whenever i wander by the nighclub district i see sex out enjoying itself. meanwhile love pines away at home, passing the hours watching "desperate housewives". do you think we could get these two together on a blind date? because i suspect they'd make a lovely couple.

orgasms are like cookies

you forget about all the ones you've had before. the only one that holds your attention is the one you're about to have. and after the box is empty, when you have to go out for more.

sex is

the line of inviting, cosy-looking taxis that slip teasingly past while we stand, shivering in the rain, waiting for the bus to come. it's only a matter of time before we give up and flag one down.

when

did it become de rigueur for women to be bi? how did i miss that announcement? was i in a meeting or something? i wonder how they got that one through parliament?

some things i've learnt

in the last two days while wandering around looking at other people's blogs: people who are just about sex are so so boring. shocking but true.