Wednesday 5 December 2007

3 christmas (shopping) curses

1. seniors on gophers. double points apply if you are inconvenienced by one reversing (yes!) out of the post office (as i was). it should be obvious: if you're too retarded to walk, you're too retarded to drive.

2. people who freeze on escalators. what's wrong with your legs, fatso? use 'em. (have they all been injected with that fiendish kaos neuro-toxin "immobilo"?)

3. piped shopping-centre carols. please, sir, i don't want any more.

3 comments:

Gretta James said...

Bah humbug ;)

Citronella said...

The other day the bookstore speakers were stuck on a series of different interpretations of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas".

I thought I was going to kill someone.

And then they switched to "Gloria".

So I just calmly proceeded to the nearest exit.

coffeesnob said...

oh, it's you mlle bubble? since you've gone into witness protection i struggle to recall your new identity.

was it laura branigan's "laura" or the other one? if it was david raksin's "laura's theme" i wouldn't mind.